Penniyam potrudhum

Women are considered as symbol of honour. This is a major factor in sexual crimes during war and communal riots. Patriarchal idea of honouring women based on her virginity,hymen,sexual activity is also main cause of sexual offences. Rape is a crime which hurts women physically and psychologically, but her honour is not lost." Why to place a woman's honour in her vagina?" is my question to all sexist people. Rape cases go unreported due to the value system of virtue and honour.  People used to argue that feminist shout "rape,rape". Rape never existed before feminism and liberation. I have met 2 rape victims who never reported due to fear. Let me share their story.Soundaram was an old widowed women, she was the last women to have her head tonsured and wearing sandal colour saree. She said she was a widow at the age of 16. Her parents could not take her back;as it used to be in her days. She didn't have any children and her parents were poor. she said she wa...

Gender chore gap do exists in our homes. Men do think that they do fair share of household chores but the reality is different. They do more work than their fathers and grandfathers, but not up to the mark. Indian men never prefers to do works like changing diapers,cleaning bathroom and toilets. Those chores are labelled as nasty works and reserved for women. Men does only tutoring,playing with kids and adds it into household chores account. Men associate themselves with bread winning after a child is born, where as women associate them with care taking. I would ask women to not to have high standards in home maintainence.  Every time when I see a tired women trying to clean dishes,organise toys or fold clothes, I would ask whether there is going to be a inspection on home. Women should not hold any value on well-managed home. Many Indian women never allow their men to do chores as they think men would do them wrongly or not up to women's standards. Many women are affected by a di...

Gender pay gap do exists and it is the penalty women pay for child bearing. HR policies does not allow you to ask other employee's salary. I have asked few of my friend's salary, after I quit working. Everytime, I chat with my friends, they will speak about their current company and earnings. I have observed that my male friend's salary is higher than female friends. We all have started our career with the same salary, but  after many job shifting , the salary of male counter parts were much higher. Even HR interview round, lasted long for women, questions ranging from when are you planning to get married, will you have child immediately etc. Child care is cited as the main reason for it. Men are not entitled to take care of children. Paternity leave is given for just 7 to 10 days. Even seven days leave is mocked by bosses .In my marketing department ,an associate level employee was asked, " what are you going to do for delivery? ". The marketing manager was murm...

Ageing has a huge impact on women's lives. Women who are looking younger than their age are praised and celebrated for their efforts. A huge pressure is put on women's  shoulders to look young. They are advised to take care of their skin. Men are allowed to have white hairs and it is considered graceful. A  man with  salt and pepper hair style is considered as confident. Women are advised to apply anti ageing cream after they have reached 30. Even signs of ageing are not allowed on women's  face. Women of all sections of society are taking efforts to make themselves look young. Men are considered to be ageing gracefully like a fine wine. On the other hand,women are not allowed to age. If an man works more than his retirement age he is pitied. His sons and daughters are advised to give them rest. Women are working for their children and grandchildren even in their old age in their homes. "Retirement" is a word not even considered for women. Let a women be working ...

The work that women do at home is also economic activity but it goes unaccounted. Simply changing the word "housewife" to "homemaker" is not enough. "Why should homemaker be paid and how can be paid?" is the question pricking many hearts of Indians. I have felt the same way without putting myself in other's shoes. Yes.Women love their family and they are caregiving for love and affection. Does that mean they don't have preferences, hobbies, interests etc There are women, whose husband will not give any pocket money to spend? Many men simply say that I am buying all groceries, vegetables, milk and why should I give money to you.  Will men accept the same thing? In many joint families, elders control the finances and will not give any money without proper explanation. The explanation should be convincing for them. My mother has said me that in her marital home, sanitary napkins are considered as an unnecessary expense, and the request to purchase ha...

"Women are our mothers,wives,sisters and daughters" is the usual phrase used in supporting feminism. Women deserves respect and equality. It has nothing to do with their relationship with men. People are not ready to respect and treat transgenders equally. The reason behind it is simple ;they are thrown out from their houses. They are no more brother or sister of some one. There education and job will not support a family. Patriarchs connect gender with family and relationship. They argue a women's education and job can support family. Employment of a women should be seen as women empowerment and financial independence. Instead it has been viewed as family money. If a women's salary is not given to husband then her career is considered a waste.she is forces to leave her job and this creates a huge trauma in her. Women are equal citizens of society. They have right to education,right to work,right to marry of their choice. They don't need to be a wife,daughter or ...

I once watched in "Neeya Naana" , a Tamil debate show in which women demanded dowry from their mothers. Women have asked gold,rental property,silk sarees and dresses. Those women were trolled and character assassinated. Dowry is evil to society but why women ask dowry and burden their family. I was amazed by the new problem. I started observing this issue and found out the root cause. From childhood girls gets annoyed by the preferential treatment their brothers get. Even though a girl loves her brother this approach towards her makes her despise her brother. This sibling rivalry a women developes due to differential treatment is shown during her marriage. A women feels she is entitled to dowry as her brother got all the good things from their family. A girl child as young as 6 hears that her brother will take care of family and shoulder her marriage responsibilities. The other reason is insecurity associated with marriage. A man never understand this concept as they will ne...