Installment dowry

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In south India there is a practice of life time installment dowry.  It varies from religion and caste. A girl's parents have to buy gold jewellery to son-in-law for diwali.Ring,bracelet or chain would be given based on status. A girl's parents have to buy new dresses for them and need to make or buy many sweets and give to them while they leave. For pongal/sankranti  all materials for celebrating the festival have to be  borne by girl's family. There is a big list for each and every celebration,function and even till death. A poor women could not even enjoy her pregnancy fearing baby shower expenses and hospital expenses. In 19th century an Indian women would go to her  mother's house for her child birth and delivery was done by women in their family. A mother could give her more comfort during delivery than her in-laws. Why should the same be applied today? Why can't a marital home take care of women's child birth. Why can't they  bear the expenses? . A girl's family have to buy gold jewellery for grand child. They have to buy big gifts for first birthday. They have to get silk saree and gold for grand daughter's puberty function too. Can people imagine how an old man or women can spend so much money? . An old women was crying at her shastipoorthi (marriage conducted on husband's 60 age) . she was crying because her brother could not afford seer(dowry) . Her son bought the seer and her sister-in-law ridiculed her for it. This seer is often compared between different women. A rich man buys many things ,which is not in list ,and it becomes a trend and the same is expected from poor women. Recently I saw a blog named nammathu valakkam. This blog lists all the things a girl's family have to bear for all functions and occasions. For  each and every function and celebration a girl's side need to spend a lot. People believe that this blog was aimed to help people in following customs. The society has to come out of dowry in any form. Women don't ask for property from brothers. They fear that their brother would not  give seer dowry during functions and  they need to face embrassment and humiliation in front of all relatives and friends.





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