Women and Identity

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The most underrated problem of women is identity. A man is never expected to change himself. The problem of identity is at peak in women's marital home. A woman is expected to change her dressing style, cooking style and habits in her new home. Men even does not know what is mean by adjustment. It is always put on shoulders of women and it is imposed to such a level that a woman loses her identity. Women lose themselves for the sake of love and marriage. I once said my friends that i came to know my mother's original name only after my father's demise; her sari draping style too changed. One of my friend said that your father died when you were just 6 and so you might have noticed only these things. She said that her mother was once trying her sister's salwar to wear it for a tour. She was amazed of it. Her mother replied to her that her father did not allow her to wear it. My friend said that her mother's cooking style changed and she made few new items she never tasted before. She got the same reply that your father and my mother-in-law didn't love these recipes or this way of cooking and that was the reason to cook that way. She said that her mother started wearing black dresses and night dresses. My friend said one day her mother got her firecracker flower and forced her to adorn her hair. My friend shouted" Mom. This is out of fashion. It will make me look like a village girl. If you love it then please clip it in your hair". Her mother replied to her that she used to love it during her young age but my husband does n't likes this flower. Your father used to say that this flower does not have any fragrance and it cannot enhance beauty. Now I am a widow and I am not supposed to decorate my hair with flowers and that's why i have asked you to have this flower. My friend said to me that we think our mothers are happy women and our father is a loving husband but that is not always true. A women is considered as gifted if she is rich, having good husband, good children, good health etc. A very basic thing like identity is snatched from them using culture, family values and love for husband. Each and every one of us might think that our mothers, sisters, daughters and friends are leading a life with their own identity. Can anyone imagine how a women is supposed to eat a food they don't love, dress and sit like other's wish. Many women have their favourite food after marriage only in their mother's house. This is a great injustice imposed on women.

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